MelloMoose.com

For reals! I have an idea for an ongoing comic! And it’s not just a comic about me talking about how someday I’m going to make a comic. It’s called the Moose Rider!

I’m actually pretty excited about it. It’s the clearest idea I’ve had for a comic yet. I’ve got an outline and everything. It’s got a beginning, a solid concept for the middle, and I’ve got a really good idea of how it’ll end. The middle has some flexibility built into it so I can tell the story for as long as it makes sense and the mythology doesn’t get too muddied and/or nonsensical.

Contrary to what’s stated in the comic above, the Moose Rider isn’t a Dark Tower rip-off, but I’m “reading” the series right now, and I know it’s been a big influence. Please call me out on it if you think I’m borrowing too liberally.

So here’s my critique of the Eureka! comic…

Panel One
It’s okay. Jeff should be more happy, I think. That arm’s not my best work, and something’s up with the left eye. You should probably see at least a hint of his upper teeth, right? Also, I need to come up with a cartoon ear that I like — not quite there yet, but I don’t hate these. I do like the coloring — I think it makes the drawing look a lot better than it really is. Is the “Oh Really?” dialog too low? I tried moving it up, but I didn’t like how it blocked the arm.

Panel Two
I’m pretty happy with the coloring throughout this strip. Jeff’s face… I don’t think that expression, whatever it’s supposed to be, can be done in real life. Somehow his neck is half again as big, which doesn’t make sense because this is pretty much the same angle as the first panel. Also, that arm must belong to someone else or he’s got an extra elbow. I like the hand, but it needs a little better line quality — they’re all almost the same thickness.

Panel Three
I like the hands in this panel. The expression doesn’t really convey the feeling I was going for with the dialog. I probably should have drawn it for the last two lines, but instead, it doesn’t really go with any of them.

Writing
I think it’s funny. Although now that it’s done, I’m totally second-guessing it. Here’s a link if the Liefeld name means nothing to you. I get some grief about not drawing feet, but that’s not why I’m putting snow in the story… well, maybe it has a little to do with it.